Worker in his 50s tells 26-year-old coworker that she's "overreacting" to his term of endearment: 'What your coworker is doing is embarrassing'

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  • Older man in gray suit with white hair holding laptop in one hand and gesturing with the other, sitting in a car talking to woman in white button down shirt and suit jacket with ponytail
  • I (f26) work in a professional office environment. One of my older coworkers (m50s) constantly calls me "kiddo", even in front of clients. Example: yesterday I gave a full
  • presentation I worked weeks on, and at the end he said, "Good job, kiddo. See, she's learning." The clients laughed awkwardly. I pulled him aside later and told him it makes me feel undermined.
  • He said I was "overreacting" and that it's a "term of endearment." I don't feel "endearing," I feel belittled. Am I overreacting?
  • Older man and younger woman sitting in car, smiling at laptop on man's lap, woman is holding a pen and clipboard
  • Mo... No, NOR. Not only is he undermining you, he's undermining your entire company's credibility in front of those clients. When you work with a client, you're a team of experts. One person's reputation is everyone's reputation. It's horribly unprofessional to deliberately put a crack in everyone's credibility.
  • I work with clients and have younger folks who I share clients with. I affectionately call them The Babies in my own head and personal life. I was once The Baby and had older employees mentor me with patience, kindness, and care, and I take my role doing the same extremely seriously. I would not, _ ever call them anything like that in front of a client. Or other coworkers.
  • Or even them! I wouldn't even show a peep of that mentorly vibe in a meeting. When we're in front of clients, I'm an expert and you are an expert. Always. What your coworker is doing is embarassing for your team and your company. It's not cute. If this is done with real affection, he needs guidance on how to guide. This is not the way.
  • MakeUrBed NOR. "See, she's learning." is a double edged sword. Back handed compliment and you threaten his dominance. Pull him aside, set the boundary and if he downplays it again, tell him you will escalate it if needed but that you feel like you two could settle this without outside intervention. Maybe he does mean well and you
  • Office environment with one older man with laptop in front of him, younger man laughing, younger woman smiling at another older man next to her
  • want it to be low key but around clients, that is not good.
  • Routine_Tie1392 I'd start referring to them as: • old timer • over the hill . passed expiration date • boomer • gramps • dinosaur
  • When it becomes an issue just remind him these are terms of endearment and he is just over reacting
  • thatthiqqqqbabe Go to HR and ignore these replies. That's beyond inappropriate for him to do, he's undermining you and your credibility. The clients. were obviously uncomfortable and that looks bad on the business which HR cares about. Use misogyny and ageism in the email so that they know it's an equity based complaint.
  • Inform them you spoke to him and be dismissed you which calls for an escalation . He'll either be spoken to and trained or he'll be fired.

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